I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize