i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
