the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
