hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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