I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
