So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
