That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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