dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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