if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize