Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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