thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
