Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
