Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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