i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
