I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize