can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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