Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
