TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
