Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You smell like a Billy Joel song
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
