Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
