She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
