But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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