Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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