...so i touched it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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