I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I party with great urgency now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
