Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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