Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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