I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The struggles of a small town man whore
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
