Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
