Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
