There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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