She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize