does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
