I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
