The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
be right there i have to get my cape
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
