I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
