Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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