i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize