i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
