Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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