I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
