He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize