Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
