Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
3pm strippers are depressing
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize