We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
