You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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