I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
