So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
