all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
