Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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