I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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