I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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