Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
