I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
