"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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