I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
