Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
