Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
