Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
