I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
