using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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